Becoming all of me

I’m not the type of person to idealise anyone. Rarely do I notice celebrities and I don’t follow gurus.

So when someone impresses me and admiration arises, I pay attention. Because I know that person is here to awaken something in myself. Whatever qualities they have, there’s something in me that has elements of that too.

One wahine who has been impressing me lately is Tania Waikato. She first got my attention when she compiled a list of all the schools that declared they would uphold Te Tiriti o Waitangi when the government tried to remove that obligation. 

She’s a lawyer, and now she’s running as a candidate for the Green Party.
She also lifts (I think she mentioned going to world championships for weightlifting).

She’s a healer.
She listens deeply to her ancestors.
She is guided by wairua.

She’s articulate, well spoken, values-driven, and is uplifting her people while educating them about politics.

She’s smart and spiritual and athletic.

She’s an Aries Moon (just like me), and we have this tendency to dive right in. We take risks. We don’t spend forever waiting until we feel ready.

She posted a piece of poetry the other day with the comment:
“Yes I also write. Annoying I do all the things, I know.
If it’s any consolation, the tīpuna expect a LOT from those to whom many gifts are entrusted.”

That comment stuck out to me.
Because it’s not a comment from someone with low self-worth.
There’s no apology for being gifted.

What she’s showing me is how much she believes in herself.
And I realised that what I’m admiring isn’t any one achievement. It’s the integration.

There are lots of smart people.
Lots of athletic people.
Lots of spiritual people.
Lots of politically engaged people.

But it’s rarer to see someone who allows all of those parts to coexist without shrinking any of them.

Many people with multiple gifts spend years apologising for them, hiding them, or choosing one identity and abandoning the rest. They become the athlete, or the academic, or the healer, because being all of it feels like too much.

But here’s a lawyer, political candidate, and athlete who refuses to dim down her spiritual side to fit in.

What I see in her is someone who seems to have stopped apologising for who she is.


So many of us live below our potential.
We are gifted.
We can do many things.
But we are scared to be all of ourselves.
We are scared to step up and really live to our full potential.


I can write. I lift. I’m a healer and psychic. I was an academic and an athlete.

I was someone with a lot of potential.
And I struggled to believe that.

I thought I wasn’t smart enough to go to university. When I finally got there, my lecturers told me I should write books.

Because I’ve changed my path so often, and made so many course corrections along the way, there haven’t been many conventional markers of success.

At 45, I don’t yet have a successful career or a successful business.

I got straight A’s in my Environmental Studies degree and didn’t continue to postgraduate study, even though I received scholarships to do so.

Because I could see that the solution to healing the planet wasn’t going to be found solely through academia.

It required deeper work. Personal transformation.

So I left university with all that potential and spent the next four years meditating, doing yoga, gardening, reading hundreds of books, and learning who I really was.

From there, life unfolded in many directions. I became a solo mum, a yoga teacher, an energy healer. I walked the length of New Zealand, explored Embodied Processing work, started a business, got obsessed with heavy lifting, and became a personal trainer.

And because I’ve gone deep into many facets of my existence and explored myself in many ways, I can see where I still have room to grow.

I know enough to know there is still so much more to learn.
And I know my path has many more twists and turns ahead.

So I struggle at times with putting myself out there and offering my gifts to the world.

Because who am I to do this?
Am I ready to do this?

But what Tania Waikato has is purpose. She is here to do real, meaningful, transformative work in the world.

And I think that’s what she is nudging me towards.

Purpose.

Because when purpose is strong enough, self-doubt dissolves.

The question shifts from:

“Who am I to do this?” to “If I don’t do this, who will?”

And if I truly believe in what I’m doing, that my work is part of something bigger, part of healing and strengthening how people relate to themselves and the world, then that will propel me forward.

Not in a “be famous” kind of way. I’m not here for that.
I’m here to influence people within my network.

I’m here to help people become stronger in their bodies, more connected to themselves, and more trusting of their own inner wisdom.


For a long time, I underestimated the importance of that work.

I thought becoming a personal trainer was actually a bit lame.

Personal trainers aren’t known for being smart or spiritual, there’s a stereotype of them being quite one-dimensional.

It made it easy to dismiss the work I was doing.

As if helping people become stronger, more resilient, and more connected to themselves wasn’t important.
As if helping people trust themselves more wasn’t important.
As if helping people change their relationship with their bodies wasn’t important.

But it all contributes to our collective healing.

And all of this requires being much more than just a personal trainer.
It requires showing up as all of me.

Being all of me means I can be smart and intuitive.
Logical and spiritual.
Analytical and creative.
Grounded and connected to something greater than myself.

I don’t have to choose one identity and abandon the rest.

I don’t have to shrink parts of myself to make other people comfortable.

I can value science and still honour mystery.
I can care about evidence and still trust intuition.
I can be physically strong and deeply sensitive.
I can be all of me.


And perhaps that’s the deeper lesson I’ve been learning, and what Tania Waikato is reflecting back to me.

My purpose is to be fully myself.
And to encourage others to be fully themselves too.

Because we are all multifaceted beings.
We all carry gifts.
We all have something meaningful to contribute.
And maybe it’s time we stopped apologising for being called to it.