Showing up for yourself

​I’ve had a lot of people sign up with me recently, and then disappear. I know a few are sick, some are injured. But if I’m honest, my sense is that for many, this just hasn’t become a true priority yet. Even though you’ve paid for classes, you haven’t made the commitment to yourself to show up.

I get it. Life is full, and there’s a lot to juggle in a day.

But here’s my perspective:

I’ve been a solo parent since my daughter, who’s almost 12 now, was born. I’m not a solo parent who gets weekends off or holidays. I don’t have shared care with her dad, he doesn’t even live in the country.

I know how easy it is to put yourself at the very bottom of the list. For a long time, that’s exactly what I did.

When she was two, I started teaching yoga and soon after, my intuitive healing practice. I showed up for everyone else first. I poured myself into supporting others, and into being the best “gentle,” “aware,” and “natural” parent I could be. But underneath, I was running on empty. I got sick often, I neglected myself, and I didn’t realise how badly I needed to take care of me.

Eventually I burned out. I took a few years off to travel the country and live a more relaxed, nomadic lifestyle. But even then, I felt depleted. Being the only one caring for my daughter, road-schooling her and meeting all of her needs meant I never truly recharged. I had zero time for myself.

When we finally settled here in Tasman, I spent months recovering. But I was still neglecting myself. I let my daughter’s needs and home schooling commitments take priority over my own.

I remember the day I bought the gym back in Māpua. I tried to do a workout and my daughter wouldn’t stop interrupting me. I was in tears every day for the first couple of months, trying to get her to understand that I needed time for me.

It wasn’t until she went back to school at the beginning of 2024 that I finally decided to put myself first. I made a fierce commitment: my workouts would come first. Not because they matter more than my daughter or my clients, but because without looking after myself, I can’t show up for anyone else.

I haven’t missed a workout since.

It might sound small, but it was life-changing. I recharged. I got stronger. I saw results. My confidence and resilience soared. And I finally stopped abandoning myself in all areas of life.

Eventually my daughter accepted that I needed time for myself. She noticed I was a better parent when I made that time, and she started becoming more independent, enjoying her own space, too.

Now, my heavy lifting workouts go into my calendar before anything else. I fiercely protect them. They are scheduled before my classes, clients or any other commitments. They are non-negotiable. My mornings begin with meditation, morning pages, a short run, and mobility work. I make time for yoga every day (sometimes it’s an hour, sometimes it’s 10 minutes, but I don’t skip it). I do this because my health, strength, and nervous system are the foundation for everything else in my life.

I do a lot. I wake at 5:30 am. I own a business. I’m the only one financially supporting myself and my daughter. I teach classes, work with clients, and i’m training for my second ultramarathon. I handle all the childcare, cooking, cleaning, after-school activities. I have nobody to rely on but myself. And I’m highly sensitive, so I’m constantly absorbing the energy of those around me. I have a spiritual practice and I do a lot of inner work on myself so that I’m not overwhelmed by everyone else’s energy.

But out of all the things I do, my absolute priority is my own health, strength and wellbeing. Because I’ve learned that when these things are at the very top of your list, your capacity for everything else expands.
When everyone else is getting sick, I stay well, because I’m not running on empty.

Prioritising your workouts, your health, your body isn’t selfish. It’s an investment. It’s what will carry you into your 70s, 80s, and 90s with strength and independence. But it’s also what keeps you well right now.

When you don’t prioritise yourself, resentment builds up. You say yes to everyone else and no to yourself. And that resentment is a heavy weight to carry.

If you don’t prioritise yourself, no one else will.

You are the most important person in your life.

​So let this be your reminder: it’s okay to put yourself first. Not just sometimes, but always. It might just be the most important decision you ever make.