Beyond the shadow of mediocrity

I once went on a date with a powerlifter.
I told him about my idea to combine yoga and heavy lifting.
He told me to “stay in my lane.”

I checked out of the date then and there and never saw him again.

At one time in my life, a comment like that might’ve made me doubt myself.
But I’ve learned the cost of listening to people like that is a life half-lived.

I’ve never really stayed in one lane.
I’ve always followed what felt good — what ignited a spark in me.

Lately, I’ve been telling people about my new space.
I don’t even get to the intuitive healing part before they pause, trying to figure out how yoga and heavy lifting could possibly go together.

But I’m not teaching conventional yoga.
Yoga didn’t land for me until I brought in mobility and functional movement and until I found teachers who were questioning and redefining everything.

Heavy lifting would’ve felt hollow if I hadn’t brought in self-awareness and emphasised capability, empowerment, and confidence over aesthetics.

Spiritual healing felt too fluffy until I found ways to stay connected to the body.

I’m too grounded for most spiritual spaces.
Too deep for most fitness spaces.

So what do you do when nothing you’re offered really resonates?
You make your own thing.

I’m not doing this to be successful.
I didn’t do market research.
I didn’t ask what Motueka needed.

I’m building what I couldn’t find.

Because I’m done with other people’s boxes.
I’m done with compromising just to belong.

This is the question life keeps asking me:
Will you dilute yourself to be accepted, or stay true to what your soul is calling for, even if no one understands?

These days, I follow what feels light.
What feels alive with a spark of joy.

And the only judgment I get now is subtle.

My intuitive healing friends say, “I just can’t picture you lifting weights.”
My fitness colleagues go quiet when I talk about energy.

But I’m not here to make sense to everyone.

That’s mediocrity — fitting yourself into an easily digested box.

I’ve chosen not to be digestible.
I’ve chosen to follow what my heart desires.

I dated another man once — someone who had let go of his dreams.
He shared that with me like it was just what adults do.
I had empathy for his experience, but I couldn’t relate.
I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t fought to reclaim his dreams.

And so, I’ve been single for a long time. Thirteen years.

For a while, I thought that meant I was unlovable.
Now I understand, I’m just unwilling to settle for mediocrity.
Not in relationships. Not in life.

A little under a year ago, I made a decision that changed my life.
I gave up on dating, deleted the apps and decided to focus completely on myself.

That choice was one of the most empowering I’ve ever made.
I poured all the energy that had gone into searching for a partner into training for my first ultra marathon.

And in less than eight months after I began running, I ran 54 km.
It felt like an initiation into my own power. I was so proud of myself.
A few weeks later, I found my new studio space.

So no, I don’t have a business that makes sense to everyone.
I’m a solo parent.
I don’t have a partner to support me (financially, energetically, emotionally).

And I’ve accepted that I’m probably going to stay single the rest of my life.

Letting go of something I sincerely wanted was no small thing, but staying stuck, longing for a relationship that wasn’t appearing, would’ve cost me even more.

What I have now is a life that I have to didn’t abandon myself to live.
I didn’t compromise for a mediocre relationship.
I have autonomy over my choices and my path.
​I own my life.

And I feel more empowered than I ever have.

There’s no magical thinking here — but there is magic.

That’s the key to moving beyond the shadow of mediocrity — not to compromise.