Six weeks in my new space!

I am SO grateful to have found this space.

The past couple of years have been difficult for me, emotionally and financially. I made a bad investment, trusted the wrong person, found myself stuck owning a gym in a community that wasn’t supportive of it. 

Instead of walking away from the investment, I trusted my intuition. I knew that the gym in Māpua wasn’t the right thing for me, but there was something magic in the heavy lifting — both for myself and for others.

I knew that the gym was a stepping stone to creating something more aligned. I just didn’t know what it would look like exactly. 

I spent a year keeping the gym afloat out of my own pocket, basically supporting someone else to make a living off of it, while I completed a personal training course and heavy lifting teacher’s program and mentorship. And I used the gym to deepen my own training and learning.

That period of time required a lot of trust that I was on the right track. The personal training course, which I was doing to get my REPS registration, was tough. It was filled with endless assignments and it had a toxic, body shaming tone. 

I had conflicts with the tutors because our views on fitness and body positivity were at odds. It was a course designed by men, for men. There was no mention of women’s training needs being different to men’s or of what women need in peri and post menopause. They told me that if I didn’t focus on training people for aesthetics, I would never get any clients. It took everything I had not to quit. 

I remember being so relieved the day I finally got the certificate.

The very next day I ran a 54 km ultra marathon. 

It was my first ultra (first marathon as well), and I was very nervous. I was worried I’d be the slowest person on the course, coming in after dark. But I knew I had to attempt it, I’d put so much energy into training for it. I surprised myself by finishing in less than 8 hours. It was the most joyful experience ever. An initiation into a new phase of life.

The ultra marathon feeling so easy was a sign that life did not need to be difficult anymore. I’d done the hard work. I’d persevered. I’d trained. I’d studied. All while solo parenting. I’d carried other people and I’d lived off my savings for long enough. It was time to bring some joy, ease and abundance into my life. I’d earned it. 

Completing that ultra marathon created a huge shift in my energy. I felt like I could do anything. I set a strong intention to create something that felt aligned with my soul. I set out to find a place where I could bring together all of my work.

And then, effortlessly, in less than two weeks, I found this place.

Everything flowed, like nothing I’d experienced.

Support arrived exactly when I needed it and my trust in the universe was restored.

Here’s the key though: I had to learn to trust myself first. I had to persevere through lots of hardship, and struggle before I was ready to stop compromising. 

I had to go through the shadows and really feel the pain of carrying everything on my own.

That’s what I needed to get stronger.

And now, I feel like I am carried and I am held. Not by anyone in particular, there’s nobody there in the background to catch me, I don’t have anyone to go home to each night who supports me. But I trust that I’m carried by something far greater. The universe does have my back. 

The universe also knew that giving it to me the easy way wouldn’t have made me so strong and competent. If any of this had come easily, I wouldn’t now feel so capable of holding space for all the people who will be coming to me for empowerment, support and healing. 

Anyway, thank you so much to all my crew from Māpua who have stuck with me through this transition. You are amazing! I would have really struggled without you.

And thanks to all the wonderful, new people who have joined us!

I’m excited to watch this community grow.